Frank Spencer - Roller Skates

For most of the 70's, Frank Spencer was a comedy icon. Though the sit-com Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em produced only 22 episodes over three seasons (with, strangely, a five year gap from 1973 to 1978 between the second and third series), the character was perhaps the most mimicked of any in the history of TV comedy. He was a main ingredient in the acts of impersonators such as Mike Yarwood, Bobby Davro and Lenny Henry. Most people could have a reasonable go at an 'Ooh Betty' ; at work, in the pub or the playground.

The above clip comes from the end of the 1973 episode, Fathers' Clinic. Frank (Michael Crawford) and Betty (Michele Dotrice), are looking after two children whose mother is in hospital. A trip to a roller skating rink results in typical mayhem. The scene represents one of the most lasting memories of the show and would arguably be in any list of all time great comedy moments. Believe me, when first viewed it was pretty scary stuff , as were many of Crawford's other stunts in the series. Enjoy it.

Kingpin

Every so often in life you stumble across a little gem..............a hugely enjoyable piece of entertainment that you just didn't even know existed. Ok,ok, I don't know where I have been since 1996 when the Farrelly brothers comedy film, Kingpin was released. I have seen Something About Mary, by the same writers, and found it amusing in parts. But Kingpin is much better. It is crude and rude, even tasteless and disgusting in places. Definitely for an adult audience, though in fairness young teens will enjoy some of the bowling scenes and the vulgarity will largely pass them by.

Unlike many comedy films, Kingpin has an interesting story line and well developed characterisation. Roy Munson, played by Woody Harrelson, is a talented ten pin bowler as a child and fulfills his promise as a hot prospect by defeating Ernie 'Big Ern' McCracken (Bill Murray), in the State final. McCracken is a slippery, devious character whose nastiness to Munson culminates in the pair hustling local bowlers after tricking them with a ' two drunks' routine. One con too many leads to Munson being fed to the ball-return by a furious group of deceived players, resulting in his bowling hand being chopped off. McCracken does a runner and Munson blames him for the fact that his sporting career is over and that his right arm now also comprises of a hook and a rubber hand.

The film moves on to present day and Munson is a mess; he has a drink problem, lives in squalor and has a truly horrific landlady (Lin Shaye) to whom he always owes rent. He thinks his luck has changed when he meets Ishmael Boorg (Randy Quaid), a good bowler and a member of the Amish community. Munson wants Ishmael to turn pro but he refuses and has no interest due to his cultural upbringing, until it turns out that his village has a financial problem. It coincides with a bowling tournament in Reno for a million dollars - winner takes all. So Ishmael agrees to give it a go to save his community.

It soon becomes apparent that Ishmael is a good bowler but not that good, despite all the coaching Munson gives him. The pair resort to hustling and fall foul of a dangerous gangster who is not against cheating himself, using his sex tease of a girlfriend, Claudia (Vanessa Angel), to put off opponents just as they are about to bowl.When the gangster loses to Ishmael he hits Claudia but then discovers the pair had no money to gamble with in the first place.They manage a quick escape and are joined by the girl, who spots a money making opportunity. Soon Claudia is using her sexuality to distract Ishmael's rivals and they are quickly raking in some cash.

The film rolls on towards it's climax............the Reno tournament. McCracken, predictably, returns to the scene, and is hot favourite to scoop the prize. Old resentments flare in Munson, but disaster follows when Ishmael breaks his hand hitting the wall (the punch was aimed at McCracken). So Roy 'Rubber Man' Munson has no option but to take his place. Everyone expects McCracken to make the final but not Munson - 'the one time rising star who disappeared'. But Munson wins his matches one by one, setting up the inevitable grand final. McCracken, with his sequined shirts and disastrous hair style puts on a great slime-ball performance and beats a despairing Munson to the prize. It looks like we are heading for a sad ending ; Munson still broke and back in his seedy house, Ishmael returning to his bankrupt township and ready to explain to his family about the debauchery he has fallen into, and Claudia gone ( first with McCracken whom she had earlier, it turns out , had a sexual relationship with , then back to her gangster boyfriend).

The humour in Kingpin is grubby but very very funny. The plot is so well worked and developed , the film easily gets away with some hard-core gags. It turns out a procession of laughs almost all the way through. As you might expect the rubber hand is well used. The innocence of Ishmael and his total naivety to the ways of hot Claudia is a constant source of amusement.There is a great scene involving Claudia's nipples at the freezer (use your imagination) which was an attempt to put him off his game. It had absolutely no effect on him. Ishmael does however soon learn some worldly ways of his own, taking up a job as a drag stripper at one point. Munson shows how useless he is whilst living in the Amish town. He milks a bull and drinks the contents of the bucket !! Then he is asked to remove the shoes off the horses. He cuts their feet off !! There is a great laughter scene where a horse , having lost a few inches in height can no longer quite see over it's stable gate. Perhaps the most appalling moment in Kingpin involves Munson's landlady, a grotesque woman with whom he has to have sex to pay his rent. Don't ask me to explain but the scene is fantastically funny, maybe it was her in bed smoking a cigarette with him chucking up continuously in the background after they had finished.

All the actors put in great performances. Bill Murray kind of steals the show with his portrayal of McCracken in the final showdown. The character is as dislikeable as you could imagine. Woody Harrelson is a lovable rogue as Munson and puts in a great performance. Randy Quaid is very believable as Ishmael and had the perfect, almost child like, facial expressions. The two women, Vanessa Angel and Lin Shaye both left erotic marks on the male audience, though for entirely different reasons.

Thankfully, the ending does turn out happy. Claudia turns up at Munson's place. She has cash, which she has robbed from the gangster. Munson has even better news. A condom company likes 'Rubber Man' and has paid him half a million dollars to promote their products. There is of course only one place the money can go, to Ishmael and his family, which Munson and Claudia deliver before driving off into the sunset together.

I had no intention of watching this movie.................but I just could not leave it once it had started. Not sure why it has taken eleven years to enter my life but it sure was worth it.

Scrumpy And Western

1976 was a hot summer in England. And a novelty act, the likes of which had never been seen before (nor since) hit our charts. They were called The Wurzels. In May they had a number 1 with Combined Harvester, selling over 400,000 copies and the follow up record in September, I Am A Cider Drinker, reached No 3. Their trade-marks were anything Zummerzet ; cider (scrumpy), pitchforks, straw, farmyards, animals, tractors and West country locations. They brought the music genre, Scrumpy & Western to parts of the country that didn't even know it existed. And amid a raging heatwave they brought some new humour to our lives.

The Wurzels had been in existence many years before their national fame, formed in 1966 as the backing group to Adge Cutler , a much loved West country performer who wrote and sung humorous songs to local audiences, and had previously been road manager to Acker Bilk. They had a minor hit in '67 with Drink Up Thy Zider and were hugely popular. Ironically, their major successes came after Adge Cutler was tragically killed in a car crash in Chepstow on his way home from a gig in 1974. The Wurzels needed new material and turned therefore to re-writing other popular tunes, adding their own lyrics and country yokel accents. Melanie's 'Brand New Key' became Combined Harvester, and Jonathan King's 'Una Paloma Blanca' was turned into I Am A Cider Drinker.

Chart acclaim was short lived. The 1977 release Farmer Bill's Batman made it to No 32 and was to be their final hit. The group, Reg Quantrill (banjo), Tommy Banner (accordion) and Pete Budd (lead man with a great jovial smile), made various TV appearances around this time. Whilst they were heavily criticised by music purists, their act was truly original and refreshing and much enjoyed by those who took them for what they were - a bunch of guys having a bit of fun. After their time in the lime-light passed, they returned to performing live concerts and by the end of the 90's had achieved cult status once more, especially amongst students. To this day they remain regular favourites in the West Country and it was recently announced that I Am A Cider Drinker was to re-released for charity with Tony Blackburn sharing the singing duties.

With a discography which includes songs such as Champion Dung Spreader, The Wurple - Diddle - I - Doo - Song, Don't Tell I Tell 'Ee, and The Marrow Song ( Oh What A Beauty), The Wurzels are never going to be taken seriously, are they. But they have provided warm memories for me and no doubt countless others. Cheers lads.............here's to more scrumpy.

I Didn't Know That # 4

You stumble across all kinds of things you didn't know whilst researching for a blog..................................

The character Corporal Clotski in Carry On Follow That Camel looked strangely familiar when I watched it recently. The actor playing the role turned out to be a young John Bluthal , more recently famous as boring parish clerk Frank Pickles in The Vicar of Dibley.

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The working title for BBC sit-com Last Of The Summer Wine was ' The Library Mob ', a place much frequented by Blamire, Clegg and Compo in the early episodes.

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When Bernard Hedges (John Alderton) left Fenn Street School, he was replaced by David Ffitchett - Brown, played by Richard Warwick.

The Casuals - Jesamine

Sometimes I simply want to post a music clip...........not funny, just something I find seriously good. I need add nothing........other than to say I like it a great deal
Jesamine by The Casuals
What am I supposed to do
With a girl like Jesamine
Though my eyes are open wide
She's made my life a dream
(Chorus) When Jesamine goes
A part of me knows, I'm not really living
A butterfly child, so free and so wild
And so full of living
When Jesamine stays
Though time goes fast
This is my world at last
Beautiful days, lost in her eyes
But then the whole world dies

(Chorus) When Jesamine goes
A part of me knows, I'm not really living
A butterfly child
So free and so wild
And so full of living
What can you say
When a girl doesn't want to know
She's too far away
And she makes my life a dream
(Chorus) When Jesamine goes
A part of me knows, I'm not really living
A butterfly child
So free and so wild
And so full of living
When Jesamine stays
Though time goes fast
This is my world at last
Beautiful days, lost in her eyes
But then the whole world dies
What am I supposed to do
With a girl like Jesamine
Though my eyes are open wide
She makes my life a dream
(Chorus) When Jesamine goes
A part of me knows
I'm not really living......(fades)

Ray Of Sunshine # 4 - Wesley Pegden

The fourth in the series Ray Of Sunshine, dedicated to the comedy characters who contributed to the great British sit-com. The characters are listed in no particular order, just as I think of them ...............................but they all brightened our lives.


Ray Of Sunshine # 4 WESLEY PEGDEN


Last Of The Summer Wine is Britain's longest running sit-com, noted for its gentle observational humour. Centred as it is, around old people, the characters are very consistent in their ways and, generally speaking, a lovable lot. Over the years, there have been many regulars appearing in each episode, albeit quick appearances on occasions, as an aside to the main storyline. Cleggy has been an ever present. Compo was also in each episode until his death a few years ago. The third gang member has changed three times, from the original Blamire, through to Foggy, then Seymour Utterthwaite and the current Truelove. The antics of these main characters form the main storylines for the series. Despite their old age, they retain a youthful zest for life and there are few limits as to the things they will try. And when the adventure requires a motor or some other mechanical invention, for many years there was only one man for the job..............Wesley !

Wesley first appeared in LOTSW in the eighth series in 1982 in an episode entitled Car and Garter. He provided Compo with an old banger that he needed to race in order to impress Nora Batty. His domain was a green metal shed which was his workshop and in many of his appearances he didn't venture far from it. When he did it was because the others needed transport and Wesley provided it with his Land Rover. He nearly always wore the same clothes, orangey brown overalls, the front of which were largely covered with oil and grease, as were his face and hands. Though mild mannered, Wesley would often resent the disturbance of a visit from Compo and company, so obsessed was he by cars, engines and all things mechanical. He was always making something , repairing something, or blowing something up. He could always put his hand on the required spare part that the gang were looking for and to my knowledge he never charged them for anything. Instead he would often stop what he was doing and soon be totally involved in their latest ridiculous scheme.

Wesley Pegden appeared in 57 episodes in total up to 2002, many of these short cameo pieces. There were however a number of editions in which he played a more major role. The first of these was in 1984 in The Loxley Lozenge in which he discovered an old racing car. His other inventions throughout the years included a giant kite (in Getting Barry Higher In The World), a self - propelled salad strainer (a strange motorised vehicle in the episode of the same name), an all terrain vehicle ( in The Thing In Wesleys Shed), a go - cart (in In Search of Childlike Joy And The Farthest Reaches Of The Lotus Position) and a trolley (in The Only Diesel Saxophone In Captivity).

Wesley was married to the snobbish, houseproud, Edie Pegden, sister of Seymour Uttherthwaite (who fancied himself also as an inventor though he had little of Wesley's mechanical nous). She was of course a central figure in the other gang in the series..........the ladies ! Known for her posh voice that she put on when wanting to impress company, she clearly did not want Wesley in the house. You could imagine the man staying outside in his shed until bedtime, then getting back out there again well before breakfast. Edie's normal form of communication with him consisted of loudly shouting out his name. The running joke involving the Pegdens was played out when Wesley did manage to get indoors. Edie would be waiting with newspaper in hand, and would skillfully peel pages away and lay a trail of them onto the floor and work surfaces just before Wesley's greasy hands and feet touched them. On one occasion she slipped a paper up against the wall as Wesley leaned towards it ! After he leaves the house, Edie is there cleaning and polishing behind him. The only consolation Edie had for having a husband like Wesley was the fact he fixed her up with a lovely convertible car. She was a shocking driver and often accused Wesley of moving things on the car, especially the gear stick !!

Occasionally Wesley is seen clean, when he took Edie shopping and on the day of his daughter Glenda's wedding to Barry. He scrubbed up pretty well. He was also seen in his suit in Edie And The Automobile. His task was to teach his wife to drive but he was soon reduced to a trance, so bad was she behind the wheel of a car. Son in law Barry has a go but ends up a nervous wreck, then Wally Batty tries, but decides it would be safer going home to Nora. Seymour takes charge of the situation to the delight and relief of Wesley who shows rear respect towards his brother in law before spoiling things by telling Cleggy '.......and I always had him down as a pillock'' ! The character of Wesley disappeared from the series in 2002 without explanation though later he was referred to in past tense. The true reason was the death in real life of the actor who played the part. The job of inventing and providing transport has more recently been taken on by a new character, Entwistle, a fortune teller from the land of Eastern wisdom (Hull !). Wesley Pegden did not have many funny lines in Last Of The Summer Wine. What he contributed to the series was a whole more important. He provided the means for others to be funny. He offended nobody ever. He lived in his own little world and was very happy to do so. Maybe he had what many a man longs for !

The character of Wesley Pegden was created by Roy Clarke and played by Gordon Wharmby ( born 1933 in Salford, Lancs ), who also made one off appearances in All Creatures Great And Small, Heartbeat, and Hetty Wainthrop Investigates. Edie Pegden was played by Dame Thora Hird. Gordon Wharmby died in 2002 aged 68.

Ray Of Sunshine # 5 will be Bernard Woolley

Said In Jest - # 2

''Well thank you very much, Jerry '' - Margo Leadbetter in The Good Life

''You silly moo'' - Alf Garnett in Till Death Us Do Part

'' We're doomed. Doomed '' - Private Frazer in Dad's Army

'' Well, here's another fine mess you've gotten me into'' - Oliver Hardy

'' You've all done very well '' - young Mr Grace in Are You Being Served

''Oooo! Look at the muck in here'' - Larry Grayson

Carry On Follow That Camel

It is Bank Holiday Monday and for a change it is raining. So, with nothing better to do I sat down to watch Carry On Follow That Camel. It was the fourteenth film in the series and released in 1967. Missing were stalwarts such as Barbara Windsor, Hattie Jaques and Sid James (suffering from heart problems). In an attempt to bolster popularity, and especially in America, a big star was brought in as a one-off in the series, namely Phil Silvers in the role of Sgt Nocker. It is reputed that Silvers earned more money for his appearance than any other actor had in previous Carry On films, until the fee was equalled by Elke Sommer in Carry On Behind. But a host of other regulars were present :
Jim Dale ( Bertram Oliphant 'Bo' West), Kenneth Williams (Commandant Burger), Bernard Bresslaw (Sheikh Abdul Abulbul - leader of the Riffs), Charles Hawtrey (Captain Le Pice), Peter Butterworth (Simpson), and Joan Sims (ZigZig). The film also featured two of the loveliest Carry On girls ever - Angela Douglas (Lady Jane Ponsonby) and Anita Harris (Corktip).

'Bo' West is a typical upper class English gentleman, who, after wrongly losing both his honour and his love (the delicious Lady Jane) during a cricket match, runs away broken-hearted with his batman, Simpson, and joins the Foreign Legion. Not realising his class will count for nothing he gets a short sharp lesson from Sgt Nocker on his arrival in the desert. There is a great scene where, having banged on the fort doors with his cricket bat, 'Bo' and Simpson are then blasted by cannon fire as the doors open. When the dust settles, all that remains are four smokin' boots ! Soon, however, the position of the Englishmen improves. The sole reason for this is that they know Nocker to be a fraud. Whilst the Commandant thinks Nocker is a brave soldier who has fought off the local insurgents, the Riffs, 'Bo' and Simpson know the truth. He was shacked up with local cafe owner ZigZig all the time. They use this knowledge to their advantage and thereafter get a relatively easy life from Nocker, including an introduction to the sexy and tempting belly-dancer Corktip. Meantime Lady Jane discovers the truth over the cricket match argument and leaves England to find her lover. On her arrival in the foreign land she discovers she knows Commandant Burger but is then drugged and tricked by Sheikh Abdul who wants her to be her 13th wife. The remainder of the film is largely made up of 'Bo', Simpson and Nocker saving Lady Jane from the clutches of Abdul and concludes with a battle between the Foreign Legion and the Riffs, which the outnumbered elite French army wins with the aid of glue (in which the Riffs get stuck) and reinforcements (mustered by Le Pice). There is a great scene with Simpson bowling gun-powdered coconuts to 'Bo' who smashes them over the fort walls with his cricket bat.

Such is the influence of the Phil Silvers character in this film, some of the other regulars, especially Charles Hawtrey and Joan Sims, are left with relatively minor roles. Even Kenneth Williams has little room to display his comic genius. The Nocker character played by Silvers bears many a striking similarity to his more famous role, Sgt Bilko, in that he is conniving and lazy. Many of the jokes involving Nocker work nicely enough but it is probable that in 1967, Silvers was difficult to accept in the Carry On format. It worked fine for me today, but I can imagine it not working all those years ago. He did not feature in any subsequent Carry On films.

There are some funny moments in Carry On Follow That Camel. This idea of an English snob adapting to army life is well used in the film, with 'Bo' asking Simpson to run him a bath and later dressing him.When Nocker cynically asks them to join the rest of the unit on parade if they really wouldn't mind, 'Bo' says he will but only after breakfast, adding 'where exactly is the restaurant?' Early on in the film a large pair of knickers are raised up a flagpole with Le Pice announcing they look like spring flowers - ''early bloomers''. Hawtrey's other funny piece involves him improving morale amongst the legionnaires. He has them building sand-castles which ends in a riot. Probably the best moment from Commandant Burger comes with his telling of an old Arab saying - ' there's plenty of old fiddles played on a sand dune'. Nocker had two gems. Firstly to 'Bo' - 'Ah Egypt. The land of the fairies'. ' Don't you mean Pharaohs?' asks 'Bo' . ' I know what I mean' Nocker replies firmly. Secondly to Corktip - ' How about a performance of the two veils' ? 'Don't you mean seven veils?' she asks. 'Why bother with preliminaries' he replies. A running joke early on involves Lady Jane. She leaves England as an innocent girl but is accosted three times before she reaches her destination - on the train, the boat and on reaching a hotel. Each time the blinds are drawn to darken the room, with Lady Jane on each separate occasion saying ' what an odd way to punch my ticket' / 'what an odd way to check my port-hole' / 'what an odd way to see if my accommodation is satisfactory'. The film does manage to create a feeling of extreme heat and dri-ness, remarkable given it was shot on location on Camber Sands in Sussex. On a visit to an oasis the soldiers find it dry and empty, apart from a giant plughole and plug on a chain !!

The final scenes are back in England at a cricket match. 'Bo' has married Lady Jane. They have had a baby, which is in a pram. When the camera zooms in, the child has the face of the Commandant !! Nocker turns up. His bags are being carried by Corktip. Finally Sheikh Abdul bowls to 'Bo'. The cricket ball explodes. Abdul shouts ' Owzat ? ' to which 'Bo' replies ' Not out'.

After the film ended this morning, the rain stopped and the sun came out. An empty hour and a half well spent.

I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue

It is I guess understandable that most of the comedy that has left it's mark on me will have come from television. However, the medium of radio has also been a wonderful platform for top quality humour for a very long time and right up there with the very best is BBC's long running Radio 4 show I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. If you have never heard it , where have you been since 11 April 1972 when it was first aired ? Possibly you have heard snippets without realising and radio listening is of course a pastime that passes some people by altogether. But if you like clever wordplay and puns, and risque, occasionally vulgar humour, go out of your way to catch it. Since it first appeared, the BBC have generally produced two series a year, each Spring and Autumn, and the show is also regularly repeated on the comedy channel BBC 7. There is also a lengthy collection of episodes available on DVD.

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So what exactly is ISIHAC ? I will try my best to explain and in doing so give a flavour for the brand of humour it delivers. The sub-title of ISIHAC is 'the antidote to panel games'. Each programme has two teams with two players in each team, and a chairman. They play half a dozen or so rounds and each of these rounds consist of a game, loosely based on another game show. However, unlike the original, which might well be a serious pitting of skill and knowledge, the cast of ISIHAC will do their best to reduce the format to absurdity and ridicule. Every show contains different games though some appear more regularly than others, especially Mornington Crescent which has something of a cult following and Late Arrivals which closes most episodes. The programmes are recorded live from theatres or town halls around the UK and are then listened to by over 2 million regular fans. Recently ISIHAC was voted the second funniest radio show of all time, beaten only by The Goon Show.

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Two essential components that have enabled ISIHAC to survive has been it's ability to retain a regular shape and structure and the sheer cleverness of it's players. The 'team' has been largely unchanged since the show began. Graeme Garden, who is a qualified doctor, is better known as a comedy writer and actor and famous for making up one third of The Goodies. Tim Brooke-Taylor, another Goodie, also studied at Cambridge University and is well known for his quick wit and portrayal of well to do though slightly vulnerable characters. Barry Cryer is, without doubt ,one of the best and most prolific comedy writers Britain has ever had, having produced material for Morecambe and Wise, The Two Ronnies, Dick Emery, Tommy Cooper, Kenny Everett and many many others. The fourth team member was Willy Rushton, who sadly died in 1996. He was a satirist and cartoonist, and co-founded Private Eye. The pilot episode featured Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor with Bill Oddie and Jo Kendall. Barry Cryer was chairman. In 1974 Rushton replaced Oddie and Cryer replaced Kendall. This led the way to the appointment of a new chairman, Humphrey Littleton, the jazz trumpeter, who still sits in the position today. Since Willy Rushton's death the 'fourth seat' has been filled on a semi regular basis by a number of comedians, most notably Jeremy Hardy and Andy Hamilton.The theme music is a rendition of Haydn's Austrian Hymn.

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The input of Humphrey Littleton into each show is immense. Although he is essentially the straight-man to the team of jokers, he opens each programme with a relatively lengthy piece on the town or city where that particular show is being performed. He is often rude and disparaging about it. Throughout the show he is largely irritable, bewildered and indifferent. But many of Littleton's contributions are hugely funny and very close to the mark. He takes the show to the very edge of what is and is not acceptable. ISIHAC never though includes any political or particularly topical comments, relying instead on more general tom-foolery from the panellists.

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Probably the most famous and certainly best loved 'rounds' is Mornington Crescent, which is always greeted with a loud cheer from the audience when announced by Humphrey Littleton. The teams take turns to name an appropriate London Underground station. With each declaration the other players will earnestly discuss tactics and the suitability of the answer, often contradicting one another. One station leads to another, for about four or five minutes until finally one of the panellists triumphantly calls Mornington Crescent and wins the game. Despite it's long history, nobody quite knows the rules of Mornington Crescent. Many have tried to unravel it and numerous theories exist. Listeners often write in to the BBC and are referred to N F Stovold's book '' Mornington Crescent - Rules & Origins '', but then told it is out of print !! The game provides a few minutes of pure escapism. The joke of course is that some people concentrate so hard to work it out whilst others simply admire the absurdity of it all.

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Late Arrivals is a game that brings out the very best (or worst) in quick thinking humour from the teams. Humphrey Littleton prepares them earlier in the evening of the theme for that nights show. The programme often finishes with this game and the panellists have to announce in turn their late arrivals to a particular function. So, for instance, it could be 'the electricians ball' ( 'here comes Meg Awatt and her murderous husband Kill Awatt' , bit of a shock to see them here........................'and here's Mr & Mrs Tricalfault and their son Alex, arriving in their Voltswagon ) or another week 'the cricketers ball' ( 'here comes Mr & Mrs Pidshot and their son Stu' ....................'oh and I see Mr & Mrs Stoppedplay and their son Wayne' ). Guess you get the general idea.

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There are many other games that appear on a regular or semi regular basis. The rotation of format keeps ISIHAC fresh. Cheddar Gorge requires each player in turn to say just one word, the idea being to complete a grammatically correct and sensible sentence. Good News, Bad News is as the name suggests with a cast member giving good news and the next turning it to bad news , before the next reverts it back to good news and so on. One Song To The Tune Of Another is a difficult musical game...................Tim Brooke Taylor for instance could be asked to sing Yellow Submarine to the tune of Wandrin' Star !! Pick Up Song requires the singing of a popular song to which the music stops but the player has to keep going. When the music returns he has to be still singing in the right place. In Limericks , the panellists each make up a line of the verse ( 'There was a young Duchess called Fergie' 'Who went down with a touch of the lurgie' 'When Andrew came home' ' He fed her a bone' 'Which his mother had meant for a curgi !!! ') There are many other games, details of which can be found at http://www.isihac.org.uk/ which is a brilliantly put together web site dedicated to the show.

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The huge success of ISIHAC is built on the unquestionable comic talents of the aforementioned cast. The fact they have all remained loyal and faithful to the show is probably proof that they are having as much fun making it as we the audience are having listening to it. Like all great comedy productions, it has its fair share of running jokes ( and in this case very long running). The music in each show is provided by Colin Sell on the piano and he is is the butt of jokes from Humphrey Littleton each week ( ' you'll be accompanied on the piano by Colin Sell , who tells me that he's very keen to knock out some new chords tonight.......................................so if anyone's interested in a nice cheap pair of trousers' ). The musician cannot join in as he hasn't got access to a microphone. There is no winning team in ISIHAC, in fact the score isn't kept. But that does not prevent the show having a resident scorer, 'The Lovely Samantha'. She is never heard but does provide most of the shows rudest moments ("She's looking forward to going out for an ice cream with her Italian gentleman friend. She says she enjoys licking the nuts off a large Neapolitan"). Despite being in just about every show, Samantha is entirely fictitious, which is perhaps as well given the wanton life she is portrayed as leading. Occasionally she is unavailable for a show and her place is taken by Sven, a Swede who originally arrived in this country as part of Chippendale style dance act but now runs a boarding house somewhere near Brighton !! Every week a letter arrives from Mrs Trellis of North Wales ( "A Mrs Trellis of North Wales has written in to complain that the show has "an enormous fistful of rampant innuendo rammed into every crack", but only a truly filthy-minded person would think such a thing."). Like Samantha and Sven , Mrs Trellis does not really exist. But they have all been part of this marvellous show for many years.

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In my opinion, quick wit is priceless. Thirty minutes listening to ISIHAC leaves you nigh on exhausted. Yes it is rude in places but unlike modern upholders of that genre, it is rude suggestive as opposed to rude offensive. Because it is a radio show it simply invites its audience to use imagination. I have immeasurable respect for the genius of the players who have given me so many hours of laughter for so many years. I will finish with a few final funnies from the show, just in case you are still in any doubt as to what I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue is all about.

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Chat up lines to Ornithologists : 1) Would you like to come to my house, Martin ? xxx2) Don't let a little thrush put you off xxx3) What would you say to twelve finches.

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Finish the proverb : 1) A problem shared........................is a problem gossiped about for ages xxx2) A miss is as good as...................... a Mrsxxx 3) An Englishman's home is.........................his at least until the divorce settlement

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Films for dog lovers : 1) The Beatles film - Whelp !xxx 2) Bark To The Futurexxx 3) Fiddler On The Woof

Positive Thinking

When I first posted on 4th January this year, I stated that I hoped to blog again (even if I weren't really sure what a blog was) and had every intention of keeping it going. Secretly I set myself a target of 100 posts in the first year. Well , this is post number 50 and it is still only early May, so I am well on course to hit my target. Inspiration comes easy thanks to there being so many funny and entertaining people to pay tribute to. I have not even scratched the surface yet.

I thought it fitting to mark my half century with something of a return to where it all began - Morecambe and Wise. I think I have remained remarkably restrained in not mentioning them more often than I have. Bring Me Sunshine was probably their most famous show ending song but there were others and this clip is of Eric and Ernie singing Positive Thinking. It's a clever little ditty and like BMS ( blogged on 16th February if you are interested) it is in keeping with the Morecambe and Wise tradition of feel-good sentiments. We also get to see the famous hands behind the neck skip-dance as the pair exit the stage.

This will not be my last reference to M&W in this blog I can promise. But a good way to end the first fifty posts I think. Here's to the next fifty............

Family Fortunes

The following is a list of daft answers given by contestants on the long running and entertaining ITV game show, Family Fortunes :

1. We asked 100 people to name famous brothers -
Answer : Bonnie & Clyde
2. We asked 100 people to name a weapon used in the game Cluedo
Answer : Dice
3. We asked 100 people to name a bird with a long neck
Answer : Naomi Campbell
4. We asked 100 people to name a yellow fruit
Answer : An orange
5. We asked 100 people to name a place you would keep a pen
Answer : A zoo
6. We asked 100 people to name a game that uses a black ball
Answer : Darts
7. We asked 100 people to name a Thunderbirds character
Answer : Doctor Spock
8. We asked 100 people to name a dangerous race
Answer : The Arabs
9. We asked 100 people to name a TV soap
Answer : Dove
10. We asked 100 people to name something you open, other than a door
Answer : Your bowels