It is I guess understandable that most of the comedy that has left it's mark on me will have come from television. However, the medium of radio has also been a wonderful platform for top quality humour for a very long time and right up there with the very best is BBC's long running Radio 4 show I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. If you have never heard it , where have you been since 11 April 1972 when it was first aired ? Possibly you have heard snippets without realising and radio listening is of course a pastime that passes some people by altogether. But if you like clever wordplay and puns, and risque, occasionally vulgar humour, go out of your way to catch it. Since it first appeared, the BBC have generally produced two series a year, each Spring and Autumn, and the show is also regularly repeated on the comedy channel BBC 7. There is also a lengthy collection of episodes available on DVD.
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So what exactly is ISIHAC ? I will try my best to explain and in doing so give a flavour for the brand of humour it delivers. The sub-title of ISIHAC is 'the antidote to panel games'. Each programme has two teams with two players in each team, and a chairman. They play half a dozen or so rounds and each of these rounds consist of a game, loosely based on another game show. However, unlike the original, which might well be a serious pitting of skill and knowledge, the cast of ISIHAC will do their best to reduce the format to absurdity and ridicule. Every show contains different games though some appear more regularly than others, especially Mornington Crescent which has something of a cult following and Late Arrivals which closes most episodes. The programmes are recorded live from theatres or town halls around the UK and are then listened to by over 2 million regular fans. Recently ISIHAC was voted the second funniest radio show of all time, beaten only by The Goon Show.
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Two essential components that have enabled ISIHAC to survive has been it's ability to retain a regular shape and structure and the sheer cleverness of it's players. The 'team' has been largely unchanged since the show began. Graeme Garden, who is a qualified doctor, is better known as a comedy writer and actor and famous for making up one third of The Goodies. Tim Brooke-Taylor, another Goodie, also studied at Cambridge University and is well known for his quick wit and portrayal of well to do though slightly vulnerable characters. Barry Cryer is, without doubt ,one of the best and most prolific comedy writers Britain has ever had, having produced material for Morecambe and Wise, The Two Ronnies, Dick Emery, Tommy Cooper, Kenny Everett and many many others. The fourth team member was Willy Rushton, who sadly died in 1996. He was a satirist and cartoonist, and co-founded Private Eye. The pilot episode featured Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor with Bill Oddie and Jo Kendall. Barry Cryer was chairman. In 1974 Rushton replaced Oddie and Cryer replaced Kendall. This led the way to the appointment of a new chairman, Humphrey Littleton, the jazz trumpeter, who still sits in the position today. Since Willy Rushton's death the 'fourth seat' has been filled on a semi regular basis by a number of comedians, most notably Jeremy Hardy and Andy Hamilton.The theme music is a rendition of Haydn's Austrian Hymn.
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The input of Humphrey Littleton into each show is immense. Although he is essentially the straight-man to the team of jokers, he opens each programme with a relatively lengthy piece on the town or city where that particular show is being performed. He is often rude and disparaging about it. Throughout the show he is largely irritable, bewildered and indifferent. But many of Littleton's contributions are hugely funny and very close to the mark. He takes the show to the very edge of what is and is not acceptable. ISIHAC never though includes any political or particularly topical comments, relying instead on more general tom-foolery from the panellists.
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Probably the most famous and certainly best loved 'rounds' is Mornington Crescent, which is always greeted with a loud cheer from the audience when announced by Humphrey Littleton. The teams take turns to name an appropriate London Underground station. With each declaration the other players will earnestly discuss tactics and the suitability of the answer, often contradicting one another. One station leads to another, for about four or five minutes until finally one of the panellists triumphantly calls Mornington Crescent and wins the game. Despite it's long history, nobody quite knows the rules of Mornington Crescent. Many have tried to unravel it and numerous theories exist. Listeners often write in to the BBC and are referred to N F Stovold's book '' Mornington Crescent - Rules & Origins '', but then told it is out of print !! The game provides a few minutes of pure escapism. The joke of course is that some people concentrate so hard to work it out whilst others simply admire the absurdity of it all.
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Late Arrivals is a game that brings out the very best (or worst) in quick thinking humour from the teams. Humphrey Littleton prepares them earlier in the evening of the theme for that nights show. The programme often finishes with this game and the panellists have to announce in turn their late arrivals to a particular function. So, for instance, it could be 'the electricians ball' ( 'here comes Meg Awatt and her murderous husband Kill Awatt' , bit of a shock to see them here........................'and here's Mr & Mrs Tricalfault and their son Alex, arriving in their Voltswagon ) or another week 'the cricketers ball' ( 'here comes Mr & Mrs Pidshot and their son Stu' ....................'oh and I see Mr & Mrs Stoppedplay and their son Wayne' ). Guess you get the general idea.
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There are many other games that appear on a regular or semi regular basis. The rotation of format keeps ISIHAC fresh. Cheddar Gorge requires each player in turn to say just one word, the idea being to complete a grammatically correct and sensible sentence. Good News, Bad News is as the name suggests with a cast member giving good news and the next turning it to bad news , before the next reverts it back to good news and so on. One Song To The Tune Of Another is a difficult musical game...................Tim Brooke Taylor for instance could be asked to sing Yellow Submarine to the tune of Wandrin' Star !! Pick Up Song requires the singing of a popular song to which the music stops but the player has to keep going. When the music returns he has to be still singing in the right place. In Limericks , the panellists each make up a line of the verse ( 'There was a young Duchess called Fergie' 'Who went down with a touch of the lurgie' 'When Andrew came home' ' He fed her a bone' 'Which his mother had meant for a curgi !!! ') There are many other games, details of which can be found at http://www.isihac.org.uk/ which is a brilliantly put together web site dedicated to the show.
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The huge success of ISIHAC is built on the unquestionable comic talents of the aforementioned cast. The fact they have all remained loyal and faithful to the show is probably proof that they are having as much fun making it as we the audience are having listening to it. Like all great comedy productions, it has its fair share of running jokes ( and in this case very long running). The music in each show is provided by Colin Sell on the piano and he is is the butt of jokes from Humphrey Littleton each week ( ' you'll be accompanied on the piano by Colin Sell , who tells me that he's very keen to knock out some new chords tonight.......................................so if anyone's interested in a nice cheap pair of trousers' ). The musician cannot join in as he hasn't got access to a microphone. There is no winning team in ISIHAC, in fact the score isn't kept. But that does not prevent the show having a resident scorer, 'The Lovely Samantha'. She is never heard but does provide most of the shows rudest moments ("She's looking forward to going out for an ice cream with her Italian gentleman friend. She says she enjoys licking the nuts off a large Neapolitan"). Despite being in just about every show, Samantha is entirely fictitious, which is perhaps as well given the wanton life she is portrayed as leading. Occasionally she is unavailable for a show and her place is taken by Sven, a Swede who originally arrived in this country as part of Chippendale style dance act but now runs a boarding house somewhere near Brighton !! Every week a letter arrives from Mrs Trellis of North Wales ( "A Mrs Trellis of North Wales has written in to complain that the show has "an enormous fistful of rampant innuendo rammed into every crack", but only a truly filthy-minded person would think such a thing."). Like Samantha and Sven , Mrs Trellis does not really exist. But they have all been part of this marvellous show for many years.
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In my opinion, quick wit is priceless. Thirty minutes listening to ISIHAC leaves you nigh on exhausted. Yes it is rude in places but unlike modern upholders of that genre, it is rude suggestive as opposed to rude offensive. Because it is a radio show it simply invites its audience to use imagination. I have immeasurable respect for the genius of the players who have given me so many hours of laughter for so many years. I will finish with a few final funnies from the show, just in case you are still in any doubt as to what I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue is all about.
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Chat up lines to Ornithologists : 1) Would you like to come to my house, Martin ? xxx2) Don't let a little thrush put you off xxx3) What would you say to twelve finches.
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Finish the proverb : 1) A problem shared........................is a problem gossiped about for ages xxx2) A miss is as good as...................... a Mrsxxx 3) An Englishman's home is.........................his at least until the divorce settlement
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Films for dog lovers : 1) The Beatles film - Whelp !xxx 2) Bark To The Futurexxx 3) Fiddler On The Woof
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