A few years ago, 2004 to be exact, Channel 4 held a vote for the worst hit records ever. Whilst the result might be old news, I think it worthy to note the results. They may have been the viewers' choice when the poll was taken but it should be remembered that at their release, somebody bought them (though not me I hasten to add). Personally, I think there is a bit of brilliance in all of them - an inventiveness that caught the moment and somehow appealed to record buyers throughout the land. And it can be safely assumed that in a number of cases, the songwriters, producers and performers never set out to create a masterpiece. So we know who had the last laugh, and certainly the loudest, all the way to the bank !
1.The Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum) - The Cheeky Girls
2.The Millennium Prayer - Cliff Richard
3.Agadoo - Black Lace
4.Candle In The Wind 1997 - Elton John
5.Fast Food Song - The Fast Food Rockers
6.Mr Blobby - Mr Blobby
7.Because We Want To - Billie
8.Barbie Girl - Aqua
9.Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus
10.Jenny From The Block - Jennifer Lopez
11.Orville's Song - Keith Harris and Orville
12.Look At Me - Gerri Halliwell
13. Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini - Bombalurina featuring Timmy Mallett
14.(Everything I Do) I Do It For You - Bryan Adams
15.Sacred Trust - One True Voice
16.Against All Odds - Mariah Carey and Westlife
17.Who Let The Dogs Out? - Baha Men
18. 5,6,7,8 - Steps
19.Living Next Door To Alice (Who The F**k Is Alice) - Smokie featuring Roy 'Chubby' Brown
20.Anyone Can Fall In Love - Anita Dobson
I can't say any of the above give me a warm feeling. However, glancing further down the list there are some songs that are amongst the best ever of their genre such as Hello (Lionel Richie) 88, and I Will Always Love You (Whitney Houston) 51. If there is a TV poll of the most loved hits ever, I suspect Channel 4 viewers may well have placed both in that list too. And as for I Should Be So Lucky (Kylie Minouge) 69 - surely just a very popular tune of its time, which is what pop music is meant to be. Ditto Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep (Middle Of The Road) 59, and Y Viva Espana (Sylvia) 40 - worst ever? no I don't think so. Just as the dance song Macarena (Los Del Rio) 37, and novelties We All Stand Together (Paul McCartney And The Frog Chorus ) 63, and Back Home (England World Cup Squad) 56 are a long way off being the worst of their kind - in fact I like all three I must admit ! The biggest blunder of all from those mis-guided voters was We Built This City (Starship) 83, a brilliant song if ever I heard one (and which I shall now soon video vault if I can find a suitable clip in order to prove my point). And finally shame on those who chose Wannabe (Spice Girls) 27. Love them or hate them (and I have no feelings either way), this song launched a group , a phenomenon in fact, that was to have as big an impact on youth culture and pop music (and in particular British pop music) as any act before or since. Wannabe was a great pop song. Simple as that.
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